How to tell a trusted adult

You don’t need perfect words. Pick a script, fill in the blanks (or don’t), and say it, text it, or hand it over on paper.

If you might hurt yourself or you’re not safe: call or text 988, text HOME to 741741, or call 911 if it’s an emergency. More help lines →

Who could I tell?

Pick someone who has been kind, calm and reliable with you. It doesn’t have to be family: a school counselor, a teacher, a coach, a doctor or nurse, a youth leader, a relative, or a friend’s parent. If the first person doesn’t help, that’s about them, not you. Try someone else.

Conversation starters

Typing in the blanks is optional. Nothing you type is saved or sent anywhere. “Copy this” copies the finished script so you can paste it in a text or note.

A school counselor

Hi, can I talk to you privately sometime today? Things at home have been How things have been, and I don’t know who else to tell. The main thing is What is going on. I’m not sure what to do, and I’d like some help figuring it out.

A teacher you trust

Do you have a few minutes after class? I’m dealing with some stuff at home and it’s making it hard to What is hard. I don’t need you to fix it. Could you help me find the right person to talk to?

A doctor or nurse

Can I talk to you alone for a minute, without my parent in the room? Lately I’ve been feeling How you feel because of things at home. Sometimes What happens. Is it okay if I tell you more?

A coach or activity leader

Coach, can I talk to you about something that isn’t about the team? Stuff at home has been How it has been and it’s been affecting me. I trust you. Do you know who I could talk to?

A relative or a friend’s parent

I need to tell you something and it’s hard to say. At home, What is going on. I’ve been feeling How you feel. Could I What you need?

If saying it out loud is too hard (text or note)

I don’t know how to say this in person, so I’m writing it. Things at home are How things are. I’m telling you because I trust you. Can we talk When?

Tips that make it easier

Pick a private moment: after class, in the counselor’s office, or at a doctor’s visit when your parent steps out.
Start small. “Can I talk to you about something?” is enough to begin.
Bring notes if you freeze up. You can read them, or just hand them over.
Bring a friend if that helps you feel braver.

What happens after you tell

Most adults will listen, believe you and help you think about next steps. Here is something important to know so nothing surprises you:

Some adults have to report abuse. In Washington, many adults who work with kids are “mandatory reporters.” That includes school staff like teachers and counselors, doctors and nurses, counselors and social workers, and some others. If they have reasonable cause to believe a child is being abused or neglected, the law says they must report it to Child Protective Services (DCYF) or the police, usually within 48 hours. Coaches and youth leaders may have to tell their organization or report too. Relatives and friends’ parents usually don’t have to report, but they can.

A report is meant to keep you safe, not to get you in trouble. It can feel scary, and it’s okay to ask before you share: “If I tell you something, do you have to report it? What would happen next?” A good adult will answer honestly. After a report, someone from DCYF may talk with you, and they try to make it safe for you to talk. You can ask to have a support person with you.

If someone is hurting you right now, or you’re scared to go home, you can call the DCYF intake line yourself at 866-363-4276 (24/7), or call 911 if you’re in danger.

If they don’t believe you

It is not your fault, and it doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Some adults panic, minimize things, or don’t know what to do.
Tell someone else. Keep going until someone listens. A different teacher, the school nurse, a counselor, or a relative.
Call a line that’s trained for this. Childhelp at 1-800-422-4453 will believe you and help you figure out what to do. You can also call or text 988, or text HOME to 741741.
Write down what happened and when, somewhere safe, in case you need it later.

Make a safety plan · All help lines · If your parents are in family court

Last checked: Oct 2026. Source for mandatory reporting: RCW 26.44.030.